Islamic Javanese Wedding

Last night we went to an Islamic Javanese wedding. Islamic weddings are often multi-stage events with the official ceremony involving only the immediate family, and a reception occurring later, sometimes months later. For example, recently I went to a reception for the marriages of two brothers, both of whom had been married months earlier. This reception was very elaborate involving almost a thousand guests and involved a long greeting line with dozens of tables filled with food at the end. However, the event is only one of congratulating the married couple and then eating.

The event Lori and I went to last night was a much simpler event. As is customary, the wedding took place at the house of the bride. The road was blocked off to traffic and a sitting area was set up on the street under a canopy. The marriage ceremony took place in a small room in the house with only the couple, a few family members, and the Muslim official. The ceremony involved readings from the Quran and a prayer in Arabic, even though I am pretty sure neither the couple nor the family members understand Arabic. And then there was, of course, the paper work required by the state. It was a very simple ceremony, which I understand is the norm for Islamic weddings.

While the ceremony was simple, the bride and groom were in elaborate traditional Javanese dress. (See pictures) Both bride and groom had makeup on that lightened their complexion, making them whiter than normal. As I understand it, the desire to appear whiter is related to the association of physical labour with tanned skin. To have lighter skin is a sign of belonging to a higher economic class that does not have to engage in physical labour for a livelihood. A similar sign is men having long fingernails, usually only the thumb or pinkie.

After the wedding ceremony came the reception. The food was traditional Javanese food with rice, spicy vegetables and meat with peanut sauce. What was interesting was that on the tables were we sat were cups holding cigarettes. Many men smoke in Indonesia but I have never seen cigarettes distributed like this. All cigarette advertising in Indonesia comes with large warnings that are very explicit, but cigarettes are very cheap and boys start smoking when they are young. I haven't seen women smoking but I find it hard to believe that it doesn't happen. There might be some sort of social stigma attached to women smoking in public. Anyways, the men were helping themselves to the cigarettes but they didn't smoke around the table, which we greatly appreciated.

We had a good time visiting with friends and eating delicious food.

Phil

Beginning of Rainy Season

Rainy season began last week. About two weeks ago the weather in Jogja became much more uncomfortable. I am not sure if the temperature is much higher, perhaps a few degrees, and certainly the humidity jumped to around 70%, but I think the main difference was the wind. During the dry season there was a constant breeze in the city, and in our house, we didn't really need fans since there was good air movement. However, about the beginning of October, this changed so that we have all our fans on all the time.

When it rains, it tends to cool down a bit, but we haven't yet reached the point in the rainy season when it rains every day. This means that for the last two weeks, it has been hot, humid and sticky. Of course, it is going to be hot, humid and sticky for the next six months or so, but as with the cold of winter in Canada, it takes a few weeks to adjust.

Indonesians usually bathe twice a day, once in the morning and once late in the afternoon. The lady who helps us with the children isn't particularly impressed by the fact that we don't bathe the children similarly so she has taken it upon herself to do it. It seems to me that Sara and Raina spend a lot of time taking baths. However, with the onset of rainy season, the rest of the family is slowly adopting the habit of bathing before supper.

One of the benefits that comes with the beginning of the rainy season is cleaner air. I have been struggling with a sore throat over the last month or so which I believe is the result of dust and pollution. My 30 minute walk to work is mostly along congested roads so it isn't all that surprising that I am having some sort of respiratory issues. Lori and the kids don't seem to be affected. The rain helps keep the dust and pollution down.

Another benefit that comes with the rainy season is everything turns green. It is not that vegetation browns like we experienced in Nigeria, but the greening is noticeable. Curiously, there isn't much colour. Javanese love elaborate gardens and plants, but most of these plants don't flower. There are plants here that have bright colours and one can't walk around without seeing many different varieties of orchids. However, the vast majority of plants cultivated around homes are broad leaf plants that don't flower. And these plants are almost always potted. I haven't figured that one out yet.

Mostly, though, I am looking forward to the rainy season for the great thunderstorms. In the middle of the season, we get two or three thunderstorms a week and there is nothing as soothing as rain pounding on the roof and some good thunder and lightning.

Phil

Bali Holiday

We have just returned from Bali. We had a great time, dividing our stay in two different hotels. Our first hotel was more contemporary with a largely European clientele, mostly Germans, Dutch and French. The hotel was by the beach so we could hear the surf from our room. Unfortunately the surf was too dangerous for swimming so we played in the sand. The pool was nice and the girls had a great time there. The downside of the hotel was its isolation so that we couldn't really walk anywhere. Our stay in Bali coincided with that of another family from Jogja we have gotten to know through the girl's school. We had a very nice meal with them at an Italian restaurant on the beach, watching the sunset.

The second hotel was in Sanur. This hotel was a bit more down-scale and traditional, but we liked it as well. The clientele here was largely Australian. Unfortunately it was a 10 minute walk to the beach, but the beach was better for the kids. I am finding that Sanur is my favourite part of Bali. The beach isn't nearly as busy as other parts and it isn't as developed. The beach has a very nice 'boardwalk' that must be several kilometers long. Also, the main street is a nice walk with a mix of restaurants, tourist shops and art stores.

We returned home at the end of Idul Fitri so last night was a bit noisy. Indonesians like to celebrate the holiday with fireworks even though they are illegal. Someone in our neighbourhood was shooting them off late into the night, making it hard to get to sleep. Apparently the night before was even more noisy so I am glad we missed that.

On the other hand, our house has its share of bumps in the night. In our yard, we have a mango tree. This tree isn't nearly as big as the ones we had in Africa, but it is big enough so that it overhangs our house. This means that some mangoes will fall on our roof, making quite a noise. I suppose the mangoes fall all through the day but it seems that the big, heavy ones fall only in the evening as the kids are going to sleep.

Phil

New School Year

We are slowly adjusting to a new school year. Katie and Mia started their school in August, but in a new location. Up till this year, the school had been operating out of several rented houses, however in the last few years the rent had been increased far beyond what is normal in that neighbourhood. A new location was found in the buildings of a former technical college. With some renovation and hard work from parents, the children have a very nice space for school. The downside for us is that it is almost twice the distance.

Lori has started teaching English language to the undergraduate students at her university. This has been a learning experience for her but she is enjoying it. I will let her say more.

I eventually started in the middle of Sept. I am teaching two courses but both have twice the usual number of lectures. The graduate course I am teaching is part of a program aimed at raising the qualifications of teachers in Islam, so all of these students are currently lecturing at other universities or colleges. They teach primarily in Islamic philosophy or Islamic law.

What has made this semester a bit different is that Ramadan, the Muslim month of fasting, covers the month of September. This means that as the month goes on, and with my classes in the hot afternoon, students are not as attentive as I would like. Furthermore, Ramadan ends with the highlight of the Islamic calender, Idul Fitri (Eid ul-Fitr). In Indonesia, this holiday can last as long as two weeks, especially for those of us in Islamic institutions. For some reason I don't understand, the university doesn't adjust its calender to compensate for these holidays so I have had to find ways of making up missed classes due to Idul Fitri.

We are taking this opportunity to take a holiday in Bali. The problem is that everyone in Indonesia is on holiday as well so hotels in Bali are booked solid. I at least tend to think of Bali as a destination for foreign tourists but over Idul Fitri, almost all the tourists are Indonesian. The girls are very excited about going to Bali.

The rainy season is also approaching. Virtually every day we will have large storm clouds overhead but with no rain. It hasn't gotten really hot yet but it is definitely more humid. In preparation for the rainy season, I have planted bamboo around the house.

Katie is part of a production of 'Amahl and the Night Visitors', which will be performed both at our church and a local Indonesian church. Katie will be singing the part of Amahl, so she has a lot of practicing to do.

We are now entering our second year here in Indonesia and we are slowly starting to find a routine to our lives here. Lori and I are gradually finding our places in our respective universities while Katie and Mia have adjusted to their new school. We are still trying to find something for Sara, perhaps a local Indonesian preschool, but she is also happy staying at home with our helpers. Raina is thriving on all the attention she gets from our helpers.

We don't know what our second year in Indonesia will bring us, but I am certain it won't be boring.

Phil

Would you like some rice with that? (Lori)

Every once in a while, for one reason or another, our family has dinner at the McDonalds in Jogja. We know, from our travels throughout North America, that the menu at this global establishment varies depending on region. However, it was a pleasant surprise that we could, in fact, order chicken mcnuggets, Big Macs, and French fries, that taste very much like those in Canada (actually a little better, although this may be fading memory). If no one has reserved the party room, our kids can even use the play place on the second floor (it’s really, really small) where the walls are painted with pictures of Ronald and the gang. These similarities make us remember home, but there are plenty of strange and wonderful differences that remind us where we are.

Even though they serve some western fare, burgers and fries take a back seat to chicken and rice here. Yes, in a country where you can buy rice and chicken every few metres, some people come to the golden arches, and just order it again. In fact, it’s probably tastier at the nearby foodstall, and costs half of what it does at McDs, but for some reason it’s the most popular thing on the menu. Most meals include rice, rather than fries. In fact, I found out a little after the fact that none of the Happy Meals include fries. I was ordering our meal, based on the pictures from the display panel (the itemized menu is hard to find and almost impossible to read) when I realized that fries weren’t anywhere to be seen. Who wouldn’t assume that a happy meal included the things? Don’t Indonesian children have them with their chicken porridge? Other non-western items include (but are not limited to) spaghetti, sundaes a la Jogja (ice cream and jello), chicken porridge and hot sauce.

Hot Sauce is given with every meal, and is also available in those pump dispensers next to the napkins and straws. One would think that ketchup would be available too, but it turns out that this is flawed foreign logic. Actually we are proudly getting used to the taste of hot sauce with our food. I’ve been thinking about it as a ruler of our acclimatization. Even though it feels like we haven’t made many strides in our quest to become more fluent in bahasa Indonesia, we can eat dinner like the locals. And yes, I would like some rice with my Big Mac, please.

School starts on Monday (Lori)

School starts on Monday. It’s been a long break. Throughout the summer, I did my best to give the girls a bit of a schedule. I bought spelling and math workbooks, so they could have something to exercise their minds. I tried to take them swimming every once in a while. We tried out 3 indoor playgrounds in 3 different shopping malls, (outdoor playgrounds are very, very rare) and decided we like the one at Saphir Square best. Whenever I had the chance, I would take them shopping with me (usually against their will!) We tried to set up playdates whenever our schedules allowed. In spite of all this, the TV has been getting a lot of use, and on several occasions I’ve had to wrestle kids to the ground for a chance on my computer.

Before school finished in June, I was asking around about summer camps, swimming /voice/gymnastics activities that would possibly be held during the break. Jogja is a city of many universities and I was hoping that at least one of them would have programs in place. But when I asked Indonesians if they knew of any summer programs for kids, I almost always got a surprised look, followed by “Do you mean just for the holiday?” responses. After talking to a few people I realized that Indonesian kids are really only away from school for about 2 weeks, before they start the next grade. So that idea was quashed.

We had understood that we would need to go to Singapore to renew visas this summer. There was a possibility that we would have to go in July, but the paperwork for our visa was sent to the wrong office and we ended up getting just another temporary stay. This meant we would surely have to leave in 30 days. And then, after making various plans and reservations, Phil’s university was able to get another unprecedented 30 day extension the day before our visas expired on August 20! This alone was a bit disappointing, but we had also been planning a trip to Bali around the Singapore trip, and for various reasons we needed to cancel them, and then re-book and cancel again. So as I think back over what has happened in the past 10 weeks, nothing significant stands out – except for the nothing part.

School starts on Monday, and I am glad.

Lori

Traffic in Indonesia

I was walking home from the university today and while I crossed the street, I was reminded of a recent article in the Jakarta Post. The writer, an Indonesian, was recalling a conversation he had had with an Australian who was frustrated with how Indonesians drive. The Indonesian responded by suggesting a difference between how drivers think in the two countries. In Australia, as in N. America, drivers aim to keep a safe distance between their car and the cars around them. The thinking is, if the car ahead brakes suddenly, the space between the cars gives time to react.

The writer suggested that in Indonesia, drivers think differently, adopting a 'fill-in-the-space' mentality. According to this way of thinking, a space in traffic is room to drive. If a driver wants to move into my lane, all the driver needs is enough room to maneuver the corner of their car in front of me. I will then be expected to make room. I can make room for the other driver by either stopping or moving over into the lane beside me. And in keeping with the fill-in-the-gap rule, the lane beside me doesn't have to be for traffic going in the same direction. It is, therefore, common to have on-coming traffic in one's own lane. To resolve this meeting of traffic heading in opposite directions, the rule is, yes, to fill-in-the-gap. That is, if I am in my lane and there is traffic heading towards me, I am expected to use any space beside me to make room for that on-coming traffic. Therefore, lane markings really are mere suggestions. It is rare to see traffic stopped at lights lined up according to the marked lanes. If cars are turning right at the light (remember Indonesians drive on the left hand side), they will often straddle the middle line. At traffic lights, two lane roads often have three or four cars across. Two 'lanes' for cars turning, two 'lanes' for cars going straight. Driving safely in Indonesia is not a matter of knowing the official rules of the road, but knowing how customs, like fill-in-the-gap, function. At first one might think that this custom is dangerous and would result in many traffic accidents, but there is so much traffic here, people just aren't driving that fast.

What brought all of this to mind was that I have finally grown accustomed to walking across intersections. Traffic lights here operate in a rotating manner. That is, at a four-way intersection, only one way has a green light, with the other three ways waiting. Sometimes the green light moves clockwise, sometimes counter-clockwise. (I haven't figured that one out yet.) Crossing the street therefore requires awareness of who has a green light and who will have it next. Furthermore, traffic can always turn left. However, traffic doesn't have to stop in order to turn left on a red light. Here, again, we have the fill-in-the-gap custom. As one is turning left, one checks to see if there is any room, and if there is, one proceeds, even if this means that traffic with the green light has to slow down or even stop. So when I am driving through an intersection, I need to keep an eye on the cars around me, but also any cars that might be turning left into my lane.

But back to crossing the intersection. I was standing on the sidewalk and when the light changed, I started to cross. However, motorcycles were turning left, fast. In the past I have made the mistake of stopping, or even worse, backing up. This is a mistake because it runs counter to the fill-in-the-gap custom, and drivers don't know how to respond. What I did today was to just keep moving forward, and the motorcycle drivers did what they are used to, filling in the gap around me.